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I don't know how to IM or stuff- so just to say thanks so much to bmshirts- Carole- for the virtual birthday cupcake! You're a sweetie.

I got real cupcakes (plain and chocolate) from my colleagues at work which was very thoughtful of them as I am veggie and egg free so they had to order them specially from the health food shop. None of them really ate any- so I had three yesterday, two this morning with fresh organic strawberries and blueberries and yummy fudge extra creamy yoghurt and I still have two left...

Having dinner with friends tonight. I got a very generous contribution to a new- second hand- car (Hyundai Matrix, airline seats, great visibility) from my mom (thanks).

However best pressie for a long time accolade also goes to my lovely colleagues who got me a year's pass to the Glasgow Film Theatre -free movies for a whole year! How cool is that?

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This is unbelievable:

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So, the organisation I work for has been winning awards. Which led to our city newspaper, which is kind of the main quality newspaper in Scotland doing a piece on us. Which involved a picture...Oh noes!

Someone in the office took a team picture a while back. Lots of the team are good looking/ tall/ young/ glam. I was just trying to avoid having a double chin. Anyway in that attempt I thought:

'if I look up and stick my chin out'.

Except I ended up looking haughty and somewhat obnoxious.

The picture promptly went around small local publications. Unfortunately the big daily newspaper also got hold of it. My day started yesterday with my boss coming in and proudly displaying the HUGE spread on us with the equally huge picture. Excuse me, does anyone have a spare rock I can crawl under?

This, unfortunately, is not the first time I have had my pic in the daily press. About a dozen years ago I was practicing criminal law. One of the court buildings in the area had been renovated and I was appearing there the day it opened. Shortly before I was due in court I went to the ladies. On attempting to leave I discovered the door knob for the exit wouldn't turn. I was trapped.

I yelled and kicked and pounded on the door. Big heavy solid door in quiet corner. Nothing. I envisaged failing to appear, being released eventually and having to explain my non appearance to the judge in open court. Well you see m'lud, I was locked in the toilet. No. Way.

What to do? I noticed the door knob was fixed with screws. I got out my metal nail file (which I always keep handy- actually it was a very small one, part of my nail clippers which I do always keep handy, as I hate ragged nails.) I managed to get the door knob off. Which I was then left standing with in my hand. Great plan, what next?

I figured if the mechanism was stiff hot water might loosen it. Filled a basin, plunged it in. Voila!, it turns. Re assembled the door knob, got out, dashed to court just in time for my case calling. Huge sigh of relief.

Of course it being the first day of the new court building the press are sniffing around for an angle on the story, hitches, glitches, etc. Somehow they got hold of my tale of woe and phoned me up. They wanted to run the story but wanted a pic. No. Way. They said they would try to find a file pic and run the story anyway. I knew they wouldn't find one. They phoned again and offered money. Quite a lot actually for just having my picture taken. I relented.

Next day the story appeared with a smiling picture of me holding the nail file. What did I not do? I did not get editorial veto on the copy. What was the page three banner headline?

'Lawyer court with briefs down.'

Doh. 15 minutes of fame, anyone want mine?

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So this is the funniest thing I have seen in ages.Robin Williams in his heyday on drunken Scotsmen and golf.(Drunken Scotsmen speak exactly like this):

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Current Mood: amused amused

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I think this is very accurate- apart from enjoying being scared deep down. I truly don't.

What Your Halloween Habits Say About You

You're a friendly person, but not the life of the party. You like making someone else's day - and you'll dress up if you think of a really fun costume.

No one quite understands you, but everyone also sort of worships you. And that's exactly how you like it.

Your inner child is open minded, playful, and adventurous.

You truly fear the dark side of humanity. You are a true misanthrope.

You're prone to be quite emotional and over dramatic. Deep down, you enjoy being scared out of your mind... even if you don't admit it.

You are unique, expressive, and a trendsetter. Your ideal Halloween costume is over the top and one of a kind.
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Jack gets his sweet life with Ennis...late and unexpected.

The two old buddies lay next to each other on their recliners by the pool. This was a pretty cool old folks home. Or rather 'Senior citizens retirement complex'. Jack had been somewhat outraged when Bobby had shown him the brochure. His grey mustache bristled and his increasingly shaggy eyebrows didn't have to travel far to knit together.

'So, ya putting me away finally, like a old horse that's no good for nuthin' no more.'

Bobby rolled his eyes. Aw dad, c'mon, you know that's not true. With me and Ellie and the kids livin' in Florida now it makes sense for you to move close, and you know your rheumatics are much better in the Florida sunshine. You know you don't want to live with us, no matter how many times we say you won't be imposin'. Just look at the brochure OK?

Jack had grumpily agreed and on flicking through he had to admit there were a few things that caught his eye. Them purty nurses (except a course they called them 'senior citizen facilitators' or some such nonsense.) He could think of a few things them healthy young bucks could 'facilitate' right enough, heh,heh. He thought with a sigh that that was about his only chance of gettin' any at this point. Forty odd years of meeting Ennis up in the mountains, and then as they got older and stiffer (in the less happy sense of that word) in motel rooms, had just about wore them both out. They were just as likely to drink some whiskey and fall asleep fully dressed on the bed in the latter days as they were to 'facilitate' anything.

A paragraph caught his eye. 'For those of our guests who like company and who wish to purchase a more economical package a number of double apartments are available. Two sharing can live for the price of one and a half singles fees'. A gleam came into Jack's eyes. He has never given up, never quit, on that sweet life with Ennis. Lately Ennis had seemed less worried about the two of them being together. Seemed to figure no one would even think two old coots like them would be up to anything. He thought that they were probably right most times. All that travellin' round to meet up plumb wore him out. A course he gave up them long drives a while back. Took an airplane lately, and with both a them more or less retired, and with Lureen gone they met up more frequent. Almost e'vry month or so, for a week. Jack could afford it. Still he wanted Ennis with him full time. Now was the time to strike.

Ennis hadn't taken the news of his move to Florida well.

'Whut in the hell ya wanna move ta Florida for at your age goddammit Jack, crazy sonofabitch,' etc etc had been his response. Then he chewed his lip and a worried look came into his eyes.

'Uh, Bud, this mean we'll, I mean, I'll not be seein' so much a ya?' Then another thought seemed to strike him and his eyes narrowed. 'Say ya don' have a 'fishin' buddy down Florida way do ya?' He growled, 'Know they do real big game fishin' in Florida'.

Jesus, Jack thought, all these years an' all that water under the bridge an Ennis Del Mar is still jealous! Jack's mouth curved. 'Naw Ennis, ain't had no fishin' buddy but you since that argument in, when wus it now? '83?'

Now is the time, he breathed deeply closed his eyes for a moment then, for the god knows how many'th time he proposed to his man. Keeping his voice casual he said, 'Ya know I can get a double apartment for not much more than a single- yer rheumatics are worse than mine. Some Florida sunshine would do 'em good. Why doncha come with me.'

Jack waited for all the reasons. His girls- well that wouldn't work. Airplanes cheap as anything these days. Girls could come visit for a holiday. He could go 'an stay with them for a bit if'n the wear and tear of livin' together full time got too much. '

'Two guys livin' together- no way!' But they wouldn't be 'two guys living together' they would be two old buddies sharing costs in an old folks home- sorry Bobby 'Senior citizens retirement complex'.

Still he was braced for the idea to be dismissed out of hand. Jack thought his hearin' had finally gone funny when he heard Ennis say. 'Ya sure it wouldn't be too expensive like? Ya know I'm not flush Jack. Got a little cash put away from that spell a horse breedin' I did a few years back, an ya know ya helped me with pointin' me in the right direction with some investments. Couldn't afford anything fancy like'.

Jack's hearing did go funny. He heard buzzing as he became lightheaded and thought he would pass out. Ennis had looked at him concerned.

'Hey Bud, ya OK, ya gone a funny colour.'

And so it came to pass that, late and unexpected Jack and Ennis finally got the good life.

'Hey Bud fancy one a them cocktails with the umbrellas?'

Jack smiled, 'sure do Bud, sure do.'

Current Mood: giggly giggly

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My entry to the August 'Dreams' challenge.

Jack dreams of freedom.

Jack gathered up the supper dishes and went to the river to wash up. The evening was unusually warm for this early in the season and he rolled his jeans and waded into the water.Read moreCollapse )

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Current Location: Shhh!
Current Mood: contemplative contemplative

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Re:What kind of slasher are you?

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Posted this way back in about June to DC and Jake Watch forums. My only attempt at slash.

'The Brokeback Blues'
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